And at work, no less.

I had a fairly busy morning. We had to drop Kelly’s car off at the mechanic to get her lights fixed. Then I had to drop her off at work. Finally, I had to fill up with gas on my way to work so that I’d be able to pick her up again after work and take Homer to his appointment at the vet. So as I was filling up with gas, I was listening to Mark and Brian talk about how they hate playing golf at those pretentious, pricey country clubs. Brian was going off on how some stuffy bastard made him buy a new pair of shorts, tuck in his shirt, and buy a $97 belt for his new shorts before he could play the course.

Shit. My belt! I left it on the couch last night, and amid the hustle and bustle this morning, I forgot to put it on! I’ve never felt more naked in my life.

Yes. I was that guy at work today. Khakis. Polo shirt. Brown socks and shoes. No belt. It was like that nightmare where you’re giving a speech in the school auditorium, and you can’t figure out why everyone is pointing and laughing, and then all of a sudden you realize that you’re buck ass naked in front of everyone. Except I was only missing my belt. And no one (audibly) laughed at me.

I can’t believe I even worried about it. I’m hoping that by tomorrow my testicles will have grown back and I can resume my testerone-filled, Coors Light swilling, red meat gorging, big boob ogling, manly hetero life.

That is all. Good day to you. I said GOOD DAY!