You know you've been writing too much code when…

You have a baby on the way, and last night your dream transitions from a baby sleeping peacefully in a crib, to this:

protected void Page_Load (Object sender, EventArgs e)


    Baby baby = ViewState[“Baby”] as Baby;


    if (baby.IsHungry)

        baby.Feed ();

    if (baby.IsSleeping)

        baby.DoNotDisturb ();

    if (baby.IsCranky)


        if (baby.IsDiaperDirty)

            baby.ChangeDiaper ();


            baby.Slap (); // throws a CallCPSException.  ???



Fer fark’s sake.

  1. That’s just pathetic.  Dreaming about code?  Evidently I need a vacation, and just in time for the new baby to arrive.  Splendid.
  2. Even in my dreams, I make terrible jokes.  You’d think that my resting brain could at least come up with something witty, but no.  Child abuse?  Hardy har har.  Jackass.
  3. Let’s not even talk about the quality of the code.

Listen, Brain, I’m not terribly impressed with your level of activity these days.  First you told me it was a good idea to pass gas in a crowded public elevator.  Then you told me to blame it on the hot chick standing next to me.  I got slapped.  HARD.  And now this?  You’d better pick things up, or, to paraphrase a very wise man, I’ll stab you with a Q-tip.