Kelly said goodbye to her 1991 Honda Accord on Wednesday. It was her first automobile, excluding the infamous “Town Car”. She got the Honda as a senior in high school, and it served her well throughout college and the beginning of her teaching career. It was stolen twice, but like a fiercely loyal dog, it somehow managed to find its way home both times. I’m still unsure whether that was a good or a bad thing. But, as eventually happens to all creatures, Honda’s time had come. We poured almost $1000 into repairs over the past year, so when it inexplicably developed a penchant for aperiodic revving, we decided it was time to move on. Honda will spend its golden years as a compressed cube of metal in a local scrapyard, where they have nightly bingo and unlimited creamed corn.

So, Honda, thanks for the memories, and thanks for providing years of reliable transportation to my girlfriend/fianceé/wife. You will be missed.

And now, in remembrance, a haiku:

Popular with thieves
You climbed hills like a fat man
Loved your cassette deck