The title of this article is “Man in unfortunate saw-mill penis incident“:

A man has been taken to hospital in Australia after his penis and groin got caught in the machinery at a saw mill.

Unfortunate?  Homer getting hives is unfortunate.  Diarrhea is unfortunate.  Kirsten Dunst’s teeth are unfortunate.

Getting your genitals stuck in a machine at a saw-mill is an unmitigated disaster.