Baby REALLY does not respect protocol

Within a 5-minute span of time, Troy:

  • Unloaded in his diaper while feeding.
  • Spit up most of what he had eaten, all over Kelly.
  • Spit up more while on his changing mat, getting some in his hair.
  • Unloaded in his NEW diaper after I had just changed him.
  • Peed on me, the changing mat, himself, the blinds, and everything within a 30-foot radius while I attempted to change him again.  I had him covered this time, too.  He must’ve had that thing tucked down and away, Buffalo Bill style.  Sneaky little shit.

I had to call in reinforcements.  It must have been quite a sight for Kelly to behold: me, stripped down to my shorts, thoroughly disgusted with having been peed on (that hasn’t happened since my college days), while Troy was lying buck-naked in his own urine on the changing mat next to a dirty diaper.

I cried uncle.

Troy 2, Dad 0.