As I was finishing up at the urinal in the men’s room this morning, a coworker walked in and took the stall next to me. As he walked by, he admonished, “Hey, shake it more than twice, and you’re playing with it!”

Had I been thinking clearly at the time, I would have said, “Shake it more than five times, and you’re on vacation. My next vacation is over two months away. Coincidence? I think not.”

(For the record, I wasn’t shaking anything; I was zipping and buttoning.)